CEO Fidora Meets with Wall Street Analysts Amid Stock Price Concerns


Karla Fidora explained to analysts that the corporation's dismal performance since she became CEO was due to the sinking economy, war fears, mistakes made by her predecessors, laid off employees and alien abductions.

Homeland Security Division

PH CEO Karla Fidora told a group of analysts last week "now is the time to decisively move forward and honor the heroes of the War on Terror by forming our own Homeland Security Division and tap into the reckless federal spending and general paranoia that remains in the market place today".

The new division will include a variety of existing PH business units such as Invisible Ink Operations in Helena, MT. The new division will fund development of advanced new products and technologies including the color printing group's life sized cardboard cutout National Guardsman (with or with out M16)  that are being installed at airport security checkpoints around the country. The division also will begin development of consumer products, such as laser printer compatible duct tape. 
 

PH Launches New $400M Brand Awareness Campaign

PH proudly launched it's latest global brand awareness campaign last week. Over the past 12 months, a team of brand management and advertising experts exhaustively studied public and customer reaction to the PH brand. Thanks to our very successful "INVERT" campaign and our landmark merger with Quompak Computer, we managed to shift public perception of PH from a supplier of high quality, overpriced enterprise computing products to the leader in providing run of the mill, overpriced personal computers. We needed to take this perception to the next level, and after numerous market trials and focus groups, we developed a new brand identifier: "Anything is Possible".

The new campaign will show how PH customers, such as Enron Corporation,  Amtrak and Worldcomm, are using PH technology to transform their businesses.  In addition, the campaign will highlight earth shattering new technologies with broad impact for mankind and how PH is playing a small and sometimes convoluted  role in them. For example, one television ad will show how insect watchers in Iceland are using mobile phones to track elusive Arctic Snow Cockroaches across the tundra. Read update on the brand program!

Return to Home Page
Disclaimer and Terms of Service

NOTICE:

The Invert Parody  is a digital parody of a wholly fictional corporation..  All names are fictional. The content of this web site should in no way be construed as factual. Any resemblance to any real company or individuals is purely coincidental. This site is not endorsed by any company. The Invert Parody  is intended for reasonably mature, intelligent audiences capable of distinguishing between childish satire and reality. All contents of this site are copyrighted and reproduction in any form is prohibited by law. Any information collected from you at this site is solely for aggregating site statistics and is deleted. No information about any individual session is retained. Emails sent to us become our property, however we will in no instance release them or publish them, with the exception of anonymous snippets extolling how funny the site is.