The Kalamazoo Speakers Bureau
Serving the Entire
Tri County Metro Area
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Karla Fidora (KF1) Karla Fidora, one of the world's best known and most admired business leaders is pleased to partner with the Kalamazoo Speaker's Bureau to provide an exciting and reasonably priced schedule of talks for almost any audience. Fidora is known around the world for her success transforming the PH Corporation from a global leader in technology and services into something else entirely. She is frequently called upon by governments and corporations around the world for her expertise in being in a particular place and speaking about various things or nothing at all. She received the BS degree in Prehistoric Literature from the Northern College and Convent of Southern New Jersey in 1978. Currently Ms. Fidora is CEO of Amtrak, the bankrupt national rail passenger system and enjoys grooming velociraptors in her spare time. Return to the
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Programs Available
KF1-1: You're Utterly Worthless
Audience: Employees
In this stimulating session, Ms. Fidora summarizes her strategy for the American Workplace of the 21st Century. Focusing on her belief that American workers up to, but not including CEO's offer no value to their employers she continues with an enlightening discussion of her successful experiences outsourcing thousands of customer service jobs to remote villages in eastern Siberia.
KF1-2: Underpaid and Underappreciated, the American CEO
Audience: CEOs
They're the most underpaid - and under appreciated segment of the population, America's hard working CEOs. You might be surprised,. but some US corporations actually expect their top managers to travel without their massage therapist... It's this kind of injustice that must end. Ms. Fidora offers a manifesto for the modern CEO: from mandatory yacht allowances to tax breaks for hair styling. She also offers tips for writing your own severance package that make saying "good bye" the easiest two words you'll ever say.
KF1-3: Dressing for Success - CEO Edition
Audience: CEO's and Aspiring CEO's
From 100 different ways to wear the same tailored pants suit to detailed instructions on how to rip out someone's aorta with your high heels, this program is full of practical ideas. Comes with Karla's new DVD on executive fashion sense that you'll be sure to keep loaded in the entertainment center of your Gulfstream IV.
Children's Programs
KF1-9C: Karla Fidora Reads My Pet Goat
It's a favorite of Republicans everywhere, and no one tells the story better than Karla Fidora, updated in the grand tradition of story tellers like George Bush and Rush Limbaugh.
Note this is a parody. All persons and corporations mentioned are fictitious.